“Exploring a Very Specific Corner of Toxic Masculinity”
June 20, 2025
I was watching The Joe Budden Podcast the other day, and they got into this convo that lowkey made me think:
“Would you ride with your homeboy while R&B is playing?”
“Would you take a trip to Miami with just one male friend—no girls, no wild plans, just y’all?”
Now off top, it sound regular to me. But the way some dudes reacted—like that’s a violation or something—let me know we still got some strange rules around how men are supposed to move.
It took me back to this moment a few years ago. I had hit up a homie like, “Yo, let’s go see Black Panther when it drops. Just on some cool, chill shit.”
His response? “Boy, wtf?”
And I’m like, “Nigga… it ain’t that deep. We can hang. It ain’t no date.”
And that’s when it hit me. There’s this weird corner of masculinity where some dudes feel like doing anything one-on-one with another man automatically needs to be disclaimed or joked about.
Whether it’s a movie, a trip, or just riding around listening to some smooth R&B, it’s like they gotta protect themselves from the idea of being perceived wrong.
But really? That’s insecurity in disguise.
I’m not the type that’s overly pressed to be up under dudes all the time—but if I rock with you and we on the same wavelength, I’m down to catch a movie, hit a city, or vibe to some music in the whip. And I don’t gotta explain it or dress it up with disclaimers.
I ain’t over here craving “male bonding retreats” or none of that. But I do appreciate real, solid friendship—and I don’t need an audience or a group to validate it. Sometimes the best convos, the best ideas, the best recalibrations? Happen when it’s just two people who respect each other and move with purpose.
That don’t make it soft. That make it solid.
Truth is, some dudes can’t function without a crowd. Can’t hang one-on-one unless there’s a buffer. Can’t just be present without feeling exposed. And that’s the type of masculinity I’m not subscribing to.
So yeah—if I wanna ride with my bro while we bumpin’ some Tank or Brent Faiyaz? Cool.
If we hit a trip just to catch a vibe or talk shop? Even better.
Ain’t no insecurity over here.
Sometimes it really is just two grown men minding their business.
That’s it. That’s the whole post.
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